Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
