know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
