i permit you to call me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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