I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
3pm strippers are depressing
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
