And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
