I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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