I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
