i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
