I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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