Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
