Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
