One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
