I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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