I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
