i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
