I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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