dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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