he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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