Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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