i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
