If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
