the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize