3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
