She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
