Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize