where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
