Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
