Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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