Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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