I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
