when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
