Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
