some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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