idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
