They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
