My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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