We're facebook friends in real life
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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