hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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