I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
