i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
