Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
