Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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