No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
