addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A+ Viking dick
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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