Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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