she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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