You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
