Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
