Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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