my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize