Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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