i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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