Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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