He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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