i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
