Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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