I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
