Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
