I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
