Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sext me about skeletons
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
