I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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