no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
