Me too!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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