bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
