Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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