YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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