I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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