He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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